In terms of the missing bag, we have pretty much single handedly sorted it out, without any bloody help from Megabus. The woman who picked our bag up by mistake got off the bus in Leeds. We got off at the next stop, Manchester and were left with her case as the rest had been picked up and taken off the bus already. Her bag had a name and address tag on it, but no form of telephone number. We could not find a number online for the woman either. All we could find is a Twitter. The morning after the journey we called customer service. They told us that lost property was closed. My partner explained the situation and left his number with the staff, asking them that, if she calls, to pass his number to her. They assured us they would. It turns out they did not.

As the day went on and we heard nothing, we eventually opened the suitcase and managed to get her parents’ number from a laptop inside the case. My partner called her parents and managed got her number. He called her and we will be meeting to swap cases tomorrow. She tells us she did indeed call customer services, after the time at which we had and they had not passed a number on. In fact, until this afternoon, 48 hours after the bags went missing, customer services did nothing. This afternoon they phoned the girl who has our bag to ask if she has it. They didn’t phone us to see if we have hers. She informed them that we would be arranging the bag swap independently of them.

I’ll be glad when I have my suitcase back and I never, ever, ever have to even think about Megabus again.

• Rude and somewhat stupid staff.
• Buses that smell so badly of urine that at one point I was questioning whether the driver had hidden corpses in there.
• Badly signed buses – evidently its not necessary, according to Megabus, to accurately display the full list of destinations for a coach. Apparently, the British public should exercise a little psychic prowess.
• Did I mention that Megabus coaches smell of piss so badly that it will make you almost want to kill yourself a little bit.
• Megabus coaches smell like piss. I can’t emphasise that enough.

Anyway, needless to say, I shan’t be taking Megabus again.